Accidental Archaeologist Read online

  Thordric's cheeks went rather pink at this but swallowed his embarrassment down with his biscuit. 'Did you notice any wizards around?'

  'Wizards? I didn't know there were any there. Did Eric send some over?' she asked.

  'Not yet,' he said. 'But I was going to go there.'

  She raised her eyebrow at him. 'What's this all about, boy?'

  'I've decided to find the Wanderers. They don't know about the Council's reform, you see.'

  'So you wanted to let them know so that they could join if they wanted? It will take you some time to convince them,' she said. 'From what I've heard, they're rather distrustful of anyone from the Council.'

  'I'm not surprised. Vey and I discovered that Kalljard had been tracking them for a long time. We've even got the names of some of them.'

  'Really? How fascinating. Though given Kalljard's paranoid disposition, it's no wonder,' she said, offering him another biscuit. 'Now, would you care to explain to me why you were covered in mud?'

  Thordric told her about his plans for his communication device and about his trouble with the Tenro Aqus. Much to his disgust, she laughed throughout the whole thing. And, he realised, he had forgotten to fix the broken window on the ground keeper's shed.

  'Never mind, boy,' she said, still laughing. 'You can fix it later.'

  She stood up and went to put on some more tea. Thordric thought for a moment and then choked on his biscuit. If she had really been to Neathin Valley, then she must have gone on one of the Ships of Kal. He had to ask her about it!

  Chapter Four: The Long Distance Communicator

  By following the plans that Vey's father had put down in his notes and by trying a few things out for himself, Thordric finally announced that his long distance communication device was ready.

  'Shall we test it?' he asked Vey, who had snuck one into Lizzie's townhouse earlier that day.

  'I think so,' Vey said. He pushed a button on the small wooden box in front of him, out of which a single blue flower was poking. 'Do I just speak to it like this?'

  Thordric nodded. 'Try saying something loudly, I'm not sure how the volume will be at her end.'

  'Alright,' Vey replied. He coughed, readying his voice. 'MOTHER? MOTHER, ARE YOU THERE?'

  Thordric winced. Even the blue flower had dipped down out of sight. 'Perhaps not quite so loud after all,' he said, tapping the box gently so that the flower bobbed back up again.

  Vey repeated himself, not quite so thunderous this time.

  'Eric? Eric, is that you?' Lizzie's voice came out of the box, as clear as if she was standing in the room. 'It appears as though you've turned yourself into some sort of plant.'

  Thordric snorted, so hard that it made him sneeze.

  'Is that you, boy?' Lizzie said. 'What's happened? Why can I hear you both coming out of this…contraption?'

  Trying to control himself, Thordric explained.

  'My, my, boy,' she said when he was done. 'You've outdone yourself this time. Though I must say, Neathin Valley is a lot further away than my house, you know. Are you sure it will work over that great a distance?'

  Thordric didn't have the faintest idea as to whether it would or not. Even so, he had created something useful after all. Perhaps he should demonstrate it to the Inspector. He had to visit his mother anyway to let her know that he would be leaving soon, so he could do it while he was there.

  He arrived at his mother's and the Inspector's house a few hours later, carrying a large platter of food in one hand and the communication device in the other. The platter was so heavy that he had to use a levitation spell in order to carry it there, but it had been necessary to bring it because, talented as his mother was in the morgue, her cooking tended to burst into flames all too frequently.

  The door opened before he had even pulled the bell and he found himself greeted by his mother holding the twins. 'Thordy! Thordy,' they gurgled at him, reaching out to grab the newly grown beard on his chin.

  He increased the levitation spell on the platter so that it whizzed over their heads and landed on the dining table so he could take a twin in each arm. Hastily, he tucked the delicate communication device into his pocket so that they wouldn't try to pull out the flower and sever the roots inside.

  'It's nice to see you again, Thordric,' his mother said, inviting him in. 'You don't visit anywhere near enough.'

  He grinned at her, but winced as the twins both grabbed hold of his beard and tugged hard, each coming away with a handful of hair.

  His mother didn't even try to tell them off. 'Honestly, Thordric, I don't understand why you feel the need to keep growing it. You look much more handsome without it.'

  Thordric flushed as he saw the Inspector watching him, his great, bushy moustache dancing about on his upper lip with mirth.

  'I'm hungry,' he said, hastily changing the subject. 'Shall we eat?'

  They sat around the table, his mother serving everyone large helpings of meat and hot spiced vegetables from the platter that Thordric had brought. Somehow, Thordric had been left holding the twins, which meant that while he was eating he had to levitate them into the air to stop them tugging at his fork. They thought it was enormous fun, particularly when they found themselves close enough to the chandelier to swing from it.

  Unfortunately, Thordric hadn't noticed and so ended up with a shower of crystal prisms bouncing off his head.

  'Perhaps I should take them for a moment?' his mother suggested as another lot rained down on him. Thordric agreed readily, but had to carefully prize their chubby fingers apart with magic before he could get them down.

  Once they had finished eating and the twins had been put to bed, Thordric took out his long distance communicator and placed it on the coffee table.

  'Fancy yourself as a horticulturalist, boy?' the Inspector jibbed at him, noticing the flower poking happily out of the top.

  'Now, now, Jimmson, don't make fun of him,' Thordric's mother said, sitting down with them. 'Though I have to say, Thordric, that is a terribly curious looking flower. I presume you have an explanation?'

  Thordric opened his mouth to reply, but Vey's voice answered for him. 'He most certainly does, Maggie.'

  The Inspector, who had been drinking his coffee at the time, replied by spraying it all down his front. 'What in Spell's name? That was High Wizard Vey speaking!' he said, his moustache curling up to his nostrils.

  'Ah, forgive me, Inspector,' Vey's voice came from the communicator. 'It was not my intention to startle you. What you're hearing is my voice being transported from my chambers into the small device in front of you. It was invented by your step-son, with a little help from my father's notes.'

  'But what exactly is it for?' the Inspector asked, his moustache relaxing back down. 'With respect, your reverence, I don't believe that scaring the wits out of everyone makes for a very practical application of one's time.'

  'Can you not think of the possibilities of such a device?' Vey asked. Thordric thought he heard a hint of amusement in his voice. Despite Vey's standing as High Wizard, he rather liked to surprise people, particularly his uncle. Of course, being High Wizard also meant that the Inspector couldn't say a word against him, no matter how much he wanted to.

  'It takes a long while to send a message to stationhouses across the country, doesn't it?' Thordric said.

  'Well, I suppose it does, yes,' the Inspector agreed. 'But what does that have to do with it?'

  They heard Vey laugh openly at this. 'Just imagine how fast the process would speed up if the constables at the other end could get the message instantly. To hear it directly from your lips, no less.'

  'I must say,' Thordric's mother said, clapping her hands together. 'That it sounds like a most intriguing idea. You said that my Thordric invented this device?'

  'Indeed, Maggie,' Vey replied. 'As I've said many times before, he has an extraordinary amount of talent. Though his wits are not always as together as they could be.'

  Thordric felt the blood flush to his face.<
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  'Now then, if that's all, Thordric, I'll be off to supper now. Don't stay out too long, you're leaving early tomorrow. Goodnight, Maggie, goodnight, Inspector,' Vey said, and then the communicator fell silent.

  The room was still for a moment. Thordric's mother and the Inspector both stared at him.

  'Leaving?' she asked. 'Leaving for where?'

  'Neathin Valley,' he said, and then added quickly, 'I'll be boarding one of the floating Ships of Kal. You remember I always wanted to go on one, don't you?'

  She narrowed her eyes and her usually bouncy hair seemed to curl into tight coils. Perhaps it was starting to behave like the Inspector's moustache, Thordric thought, though he hoped not.

  'There's a lot of strange rumours about Neathin Valley. They say that people have disappeared there, only to be found days later having no idea where they've been. I don't think you should go by yourself.'

  'Nonsense, Maggie,' the Inspector cut in. 'The boy's a grown man now, not the skinny green twig that walked into my station three years ago.'

  'But what if something happens to him?' she argued.

  'That's what the communicators are for,' Thordric broke in. 'I'll have one and Vey and Lizzie will have the other two. If I get into any trouble or find anything suspicious, I can call to them.'

  His mother sighed. 'I suppose you have a good reason for going so far away. And no doubt High Wizard Vey supports it?'

  Thordric shifted uneasily, but inclined his head.

  She sighed again. 'Then I have no choice but to let you go. But remember, if anything happens, I'll let Jimmson punish you for a month. And you must say goodbye to the twins before you go.'

  Thordric inhaled sharply. His sisters adored him and he them, having them watch him leave would slice daggers into his heart.

  'Alright,' he agreed after a moment. 'The ship sails at seven at the East Port. Meet me there and I'll say goodbye.'

  'Excellent,' she replied, and got up to fetch her homemade carrot cake (which was mostly grated carrot with a few crumbs here and there).

  Thordric was so anxious that night that sleep just wouldn't come. Finally giving up and throwing off his covers, he got up to pack some more things into his bag. So far he had three sets of Council robes, each of varying shades of blue, his undergarments, a generous amount of coins from the Council treasury and a few books to pass the time.

  He dived through his trunk to see if there was anything else he needed and found the velvet cloak Lizzie had given him when she had first trained him.

  They had been at her country house near Watchem Woods and she had sent him out to study the plants and herbs growing there. It had been snowing at the time, so she had given him her husband's old cloak, emblazoned with a silver half-moon.

  It had been so long since he'd worn it that he'd almost forgotten he had it. He remembered what Lizzie had told him about the Wanderers. They were suspicious of members from the Wizard Council. Even though the symbol was different now, they would still recognise the old book and potion bottle from it.

  Perhaps it would be wise to wear this cloak instead.

  He took it out of the trunk and, still in his night robes, put it on. It fit just as well as it had before. Despite what the Inspector had said, he hadn't really grown that much over the years.

  Smiling, he took it off and carefully folded it, placing it into his bag. He got back in bed and buried his head into his pillow.

  A moment later he got up again, realising that he hadn't washed in two days. Throwing on some old robes, he grabbed a bright orange towel for himself and sped out of his room to the baths.

  This late at night he had the room to himself. It had never been this quiet before, for he usually got there at the same time as everyone else and was the last to use the soap, which, by then, was frequently no more than a few flakes. Now, however, he found a full bar, placed there fresh for the morning.

  The baths were large and set into the floor, so that many people could use them at once. Thordric had never really liked that idea, but it did mean that there were a few less arguments than there would normally be with such a rush of wizards in need of a good wash.

  There was also a ceramic jar full of lavender oil, which he poured into the bath. If nothing else, it would definitely help him sleep.

  And sleep he did, well until the sun came up. The housekeeper that Vey had recently employed was far from amused when she found him sprawled out naked on the bathroom floor, with only the orange towel conserving his decency. He opened his eyes just in time to see her flee from the room. He didn't think he'd ever seen anyone run so fast.

  Chapter Five: The Floating Ships of Kal

  'Don't worry about it, Thordric,' Vey was saying as they made their way down to the East Port to find The Jardine, the floating ship that Thordric would be sailing on. 'She wasn't that shocked, I think it was more surprise at that bright orange towel than anything else.'

  'I just can't believe that it happened. To fall asleep in the bathroom with nothing on, I'll…I'll be the Council fool from now on,' Thordric complained, catching his foot on a loose cobble and falling straight into a stack of luggage in front of him.

  Vey watched as he picked himself up. 'Well, you do have your moments,' he agreed. 'But you shouldn't be thinking about that. You've got a long journey ahead; you'll need all your strength for that. Besides, by the time you come back, everyone will have forgotten.'

  He smiled, his beard parting awkwardly down the middle, but it did little to cheer Thordric up.

  They reached the ship; a tall vessel painted purple that was so large Thordric supposed it had taken several thousand trees just to make the hull. Its masts stretched tall into the sky and, as Thordric watched, they unleashed the giant silver sails down to catch the wind. The whole ship floated ten metres above the air, with its mooring rope attached strongly to the docks. A long, steep ramp led up to it and he was just about to get in line to board when he heard his mother's voice behind him.

  'She is a very impressive ship, I admit,' she said, gazing at it.

  The Inspector was with her and, to Thordric's extreme sadness, the twins were too. Vey saw them all together and decided it was best to give them a moment.

  'I'll just go and take your luggage to your cabin,' he said, nodding his greeting to the family.

  They watched him as he levitated Thordric's bag above his head to make his way through the crowd. Usually, he would have had his guards with him; a group of high level wizards who were skilled in defensive combat and magic; but as this wasn't an official visit and the fact that Vey couldn't stand them, he had decided to give them the slip for today.

  'Doing rather well at being High Wizard,' the Inspector murmured. 'Then again, he is my nephew, so it's no wonder he was destined for great things.'

  Thordric didn't have it in him to snort this morning. The twins were already clinging to him, as though they knew he would be going away for a long time. 'Thordy,' they gurgled. 'Thordy stay to play?'

  His upper lip started to tremble, but he refused to cry in front of the Inspector.

  'Not today, girls,' his mother answered them. 'Thordy has to go on the big boat. You've got to say goodbye to him now.'

  'Thordy go?' Mae said, screwing up her face.

  'No, Thordy stay,' Elle concluded. Mae agreed.

  'Thordy stay and play today,' they both said and giggled happily.

  Thordric sighed, thinking of a way to explain it to them, but it was no use. Instead he gathered some rope that was lying nearby and fashioned them both a necklace out of it, attaching two gemstones that he had accidentally left in his pocket from an idea he'd had months ago, one for each.

  Just then Vey came back. 'I'm sorry, Thordric, but the ship's about to sail. You've got to board her.'

  Thordric stared at his feet, preparing himself. 'Well, I'll…I'll be going now,' he said to them all. 'Goodbye.'

  He turned to go, but Vey caught him by the shoulder. 'Remember to test out the communication device wh
en you get halfway. I want to make sure that it'll work once you arrive in Neathin Valley.'

  'Don't worry, I won't forget,' he said, managing just the slightest grin. Vey shook his hand and then watched him make his way up the gangway to the deck.

  The floor beneath him creaked and groaned as they released the mooring ropes and rolled them up to sit by the anchor, which, Thordric saw, was gilded with the old mark of the Wizard Council, the book and potion mark, with a large 'J' underneath signifying it belonged to The Jardine.

  The ship rose higher into the air, so high that he could barely make out the faces of Vey and the others below. Still, he waved heartily at them until the ship sailed out of sight.

  He sighed and looked at his travel papers. His cabin was number seventeen, dubbed 'The Rookery'. He supposed he had better go and find it.

  Making his way below deck, he was amazed at how large it was inside. Of course it had looked large, but not this large. However, Thordric had found before that appearances could be very deceptive, particularly if it was something that Kalljard had been involved in.

  The great corridor, that seemed to go off in several different directions all at once, was painted the same deep purple as the hull and silver framed paintings hung from the walls. Most of them, Thordric saw with disgust, were portraits of Kalljard himself. He supposed that Vey hadn't had the time to have them all removed yet.

  Some of them, however, were of other members of the Council. He thought he recognised the faces of some of the older wizards he knew, but most were unknown to him. He couldn't even tell which century they were from, for their robes were the same in every picture.

  He shrugged and went left, after seeing a sign saying 'Cabins 1-20' pointing that way.

  The corridor was slightly narrower than the main one, though he still thought he could comfortably have driven a cart through it.

  He found 'The Rookery' easily and had just unlocked the door when it swung open from the inside and a pale young man came running out, turning a violent shade of green. Pushing past Thordric, he ran off in the direction of the bathrooms.